To Spank or not?

Last night I went to visit my husband in the town where he works. At bedtime, we cuddled and I cried about my mom (see previous post). Then we both felt ambivalent about our usual spanking ritual. It seemed anticlimactic since I'd already had the stress relief of crying in his arms. But we went ahead. He spanked me. I couldn't cry much more, but I got a sense of relaxation and was able to get a good night's sleep.

This morning I'm thinking about why it was important to go ahead with our usual routine. It gave me a sense that I can trust Lash to be consistent, to be protective, to be the husband that he's promised to be. It made me feel vulnerable and feminine and broke through the hard protective shell that I use when I have to deal with difficult situations. I needed to know that I can let down my defenses with at least one person.

I'll need to be strong as a daughter and sister and mother during these next few weeks, but I need to balance that with a sense of who I am as a woman and wife. Lash gives me that balance.