Our Holiday (including spanking)

"With Thanksgiving around the corner,

I thought this would be a good time

to review my estate plan."

I know this is a little late, but when I saw it, it expressed my feelings exactly!  We've talked to several investment advisors, insurance agents, our lawyer and each other until we're blue in the face and I finally feel like I have a glimmer of what we need to do to get ready for retirement!  No wonder we've put it off so long.  It's confusing, scary and full of tough decisions about the future.

And now I'm Thankful that we did it!

For me, knowing is better than not knowing.

Which brings me to the end of my last post.  Lash was waiting for me upstairs and I knew there was going to be a spanking but didn't know what kind.  I joined him in bed, we cuddled and talked.

Eventually we came to the usual question:

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I hate that question!

So I talked about my behavior last week, how I'd been crabby, snippy, sarcastic, angry, pulling a lot of old behavior and being generally nasty.

Then came the BIG question:

"Do you think you were being loving and respectful?"

Shit!

"Nooooo, I hate it when I act that way!"

So I got the spanking I hoped for followed by the spanking that I needed.

That's another thing I'm Thankful for -

that I get the spankings I want

and the spankings I really, really need!

I cried before and after and felt soooooo good!

That was Wednesday.  Thursday, we spent the day with our daughter and SIL.  They had planned to cook, but the news about her gestational diabetes, her meeting with a dietician and learning to use the glucometer and food plan made her forget to thaw the turkey.  Our SIL who was planning to cook the turkey didn't get home from his job (across the state) until late Wednesday night.  So we all went out to eat at Village Inn where the other three had turkey dinners

and I had a Cobb Salad!

We had a great day with no pressure,
watched a movie, visited and relaxed.

On Friday, we picked out paint for the nursery -
7 weeks and counting!

Today, Lash packed up and went to his new job.  It's only 6 night of work but he's happy to get back into the swing of the workplace.  We had a lovely goodbye spanking this morning!  I absolutely love my man when he tells me to join him for a spanking.  It wasn't too hard, but it wasn't gentle either, so I'll remember it all day.  Mmmmmmm!

So I'm counting my blessings today.

Lash

Spankings - which leads to

Our rejuvenated marriage

Our healthy daughters and SIL

Our (sort of) healthy moms

Extended family

Beautiful weather

A warm house

Good food

Friends

and retirement

(some day)

Update

     It's been awhile since I posted, other than a Nov. 11th tribute.  Mostly, I've been mired in apathy.  Oh, I've kept on reading blogs, but haven't commented or posted because it just seemed like too much trouble.
     I also needed to step back to get some perspective because I was getting a little too worked up about issues and controversies and other people's personal problems.  It was starting to seem more real than my real life and that's just not true.  It's an interesting, even fascinating little world we've created here, but the world outside my door is interesting, too.  It's also easier to sit in front of my computer and comment on blogs than it is to contact people and get out to meet them - especially for a true introvert like me.  I fight this battle all the time:  my need to keep in contact with friends and family  vs. my need for a lot of "alone" time.  
     And...... some real life stuff has been happening:  One friend lost her husband, another had surgery, another is moving away.  
     Our daughter learned she has gestational diabetes and is slowly discovering how to take control of her diet.  We had a wonderful visit with her and her husband one weekend for a massive baby shower!  Tomorrow we will spend Thanksgiving with them!
     Lash has been on a roller coaster concerning his next job.  First he was offered work for about 3 weeks in December and then that fell through.  Then he had about 10 days of work but it meant changing our holiday travel plans, then that fell through.  Now he has the certainty of 6 days of work starting this weekend (when we were supposed to be with family) which will be a welcome return to the job front after a summer of no work due to 3 hand surgeries.  Fortunately he's recovering very well and is very glad to be back on the job.  
     We've been doing some long-needed retirement planning including changing some investments and changing our health insurance plan.  That meant a lot of research into our spending habits, past, present and future - not fun!  And meeting with investment advisors, financial planners and insurance agents - also not very much fun - but necessary.
     In general everything is fine with us but we've had some worries about family members, friends and our own future which drew us into real life for a while.
     Spanking has been continuing.  In fact Lash asked me if I had posted already (he knew I was planning to)  and offered to give me something to post about!  He's waiting upstairs for me now!!  I'll let you know how it goes.
     Happy Thanksgiving to all my US friends and have a great weekend to everyone else!

Poppies

For Veterans Day (Armistice Day)
In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel 
John McCrae, MD
(1872-1918)
Canadian Army


In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.


We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.


Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Halloween Scarecrow!

Happy Halloween!

 My card from Lash showed

two black cats

on top of a jack-o-lantern

and inside it said:

Hope your Halloween is

absolutely

'meow'velous!

Where does he find them?

Hope your weekend is 'meow'velous, too!

FFF

Here is a link to my FFF post since I did it on Monday!

Happy Halloween????

This is what we woke to this morning - with more on the way!  It looks more like Happy New Year!  At least we have plenty of food, nowhere to go and a gas fireplace in case the electricity fails. 

Enjoy autumn wherever you are!

Spanking and Role-Playing

     You either "get it" or you don't when it comes to kink.  I can appreciate, admire or envy what others do or I can sit here, reading blogs, and be perplexed, confused and turned off.  I don't say disgusted or repelled, because #1) I believe that adult consensual play is very different from abuse or exploitation, which would disgust me, and #2) there are places I just don't go, things I have no interest in reading.  Non-consent and non-adult fall into a very different category, of course, and I'm not addressing that.  
     Role-playing is one area that seems to be fun or exciting for a lot of people.  I just don't "get" it.  There is no little thrill inside when I think of dressing up or acting.  I have no desire to pretend to be someone I'm not in order to get a spanking.  I'm kind of "color blind" in this area.  It just seems gray and unappealing to me.  That may be why age-play in all it's forms - child/parent, student/teacher, etc. - is mystifying to me.
     A lot of role-playing seems to be a re-playing of times in our lives when we had no power or control over events.  I really don't want to go there.  I hated being subject to the whims of adults when I was a child and I hated being seen as "less than" by authority figures because I was an adult female.  Probably it's because I hated being powerless in the past that I need to work out the dynamics of powerlessness now.
     Now, many vanilla outsider would see me being spanked by my husband as role-playing or age-play (or disgusting).  Some people involved with ttwd might see it that way.  Heck, I have sometimes had trouble defining it to my own satisfaction.  Maybe that's what I'm trying to do here.  
     To me, spanking is an adult activity that allows me to voluntarily give up control and power to another person, not because it is easy or fun for me but because it is the hardest thing I do.  It can't be temporary, as in a "scene".  It can't be on and off whenever I feel like it.  It has to be real and mutually beneficial and done with the one person I trust to use that power wisely.  It touches something deep inside that I thought I would never explore.  It is emotional and also spiritual, in that I believe that I grow spiritually when I visit those dark, frightening, secret places and open them to the light.
     It has nothing to do with past abuse - there was none.  It has everything to do with my own way of dealing with the world.  I have been passive, avoiding conflict, holding my thoughts and feelings to myself, staying away from power exchange situations, nursing my fears inside and above all, not trusting anyone - even Lash - to see those fears.  Entering into a DD relationship of my own free will meant changing basic life-long habits and traits.  Spanking is one of the means to this end, but the major factor is my willing submission and obedience, placing enough trust in another person to give him these gifts and risk their rejection. 
     I read the blogs of many women who concentrate on the dominance of their partner as the Holy Grail of DD.  And that is a personal situation that I can't judge.  For me it is my voluntary submission that is the biggest hurdle I face.  Even when Lash is working in a distant state, I can work on my submission because that battle is inside me, always with me.  I love feeling his dominance but he doesn't force me into submission, I have to reach deep and find it within.
     This is a long way from my comparison with role-playing.  I think it would be fun... sometime. I think, if I didn't have Lash to work on this with me, I might consider it as a way of getting inside to deal with these issues - but it seems like a heavy weight to put on some random top!  Anyway, to those who do it - Have Fun!  Thanks to all those who read this far in a long and rambling post.  Hugs to all!