Saturday, May 23

Good news and a (small) rant

Thanks for all the anniversary congratulations and good wishes for my mom. Her surgery went well yesterday and the results were very good - it seems that the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. I'm sneaking away for a few minutes at the coffeeshop to answer email and check out blogs.

Spending time with my mom isn't too bad, but my brother can be irritating sometimes. He made a statement about stay-at-home parents that made me bristle. I stayed home ever since my kids were born because it worked out best for our family and fit best with my husband's work schedule for me to be available when he had time off. I guess I was fairly submissive in that way. My life pretty much revolved around his life and his work. I volunteered a lot and took care of the home and tried to get some sense of self-worth from service to the schools, church and community. I gained a lot of skills, but no money and very little respect during an era when feminism was helping put women into the workplace. I consider myself a feminist and I'm grateful for the choices I have because of the women's movement, but my choices have not fit in with the mainstream of feminist thought. I grew up in a time and place where most moms were housewives. I became an adult during the 60's when equality was the buzzword. I spent many years being confused by my lack of desire for a career, I thought I was betraying other women by my choices.

Finally, I’m able to recognize and accept my submissive nature and see it as a valid choice as a feminist, as a woman, mother, daughter and wife. I like being Meow, which BTW is Lash’s name for me: short for My Ever-lovin’ Obedient Wife.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Meow,
Congratulations on a wonderful life choice that has resulted in a wonderful life! That is exactly what I wanted. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and loving wife to a good man. You are very blessed. Don't let anyone devalue you because of your choices. Please. :)

Glad the news is so good about your mother.
Maryann

Daisychain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daisychain said...

Hey, honey, SO glad things are looking so much better for your mom.

As for being a "stay at home" mom, I'm with you!!! I also "stayed at home", or so it was convenient for all to remember; I cared for our kids, did LOADS of voluntary work, including brass cleaning at church, being chair of the PTA and on the school governing body, also ran a kids sports club, was chair and senior instructor for that too; did voluntary work for the schools, helped with productions for the local dance troupe, did amateur garden design and gardening work, worked in a charity shop, made literally dozens of cakes in mass batch bakes for the church and schools moneyraising events; I was also the taxi for my kids, parents and grandparents and their friends...("Daisy will take you, she has nothing else to do....she doesn't work, you know..." - gee, thanks mom...)but I took "itsybitsy" jobs that were flexible to the kids/hubbys schedules, eg, tupperware lady, babysitting, avon lady, youthclub worker, cleaner, carer, etc etc.... I had to book in my diary time to go to the bathroom!

Anyway, what I'm saying is, there are not enough people willing to give TIME these days. It is a very precious commodity, time.... more valuable and more appreciated than tossing $5 in the pot....

so pat yourself on the back...you did, and are still doing, GOOD!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2:05 AM

Kelly said...

Happy late anniversary - that's fantastic!

I am so glad you can now your feminist side! I am such a strong believer that feminism is about choices - and sometimes those choices are working in a board room and sometimes they are about working in a play room. The fact that we have the choices available to us - that's the point.

And I so totally love what MEOW stands for - that's priceless.

Kelly

ronnie said...

Thanks for letting us know the good new about your mother.


Ronnie
xx