Husband & wife

My post about not liking the term HOH was not meant to belittle the idea of the husband as head of the household, but to try to get to the core of what it means to us. For many years, the titles husband and wife were just words that meant we had a marriage license. I was so busy trying to find myself as a person and to define myself as daughter, mother, sister, friend, etc. that I didn't think about my role as wife. I took it for granted and even in the toughest of times, never really thought about throwing in the towel.

I struggled with my fascination with spanking, ashamed and confused. It took me over 15 years, closer to 20 years, to share it with Lash. First I had to attain some degree of comfort with it myself and that came from lurking on some of the old spanking newsgroups. Here were people who wrote openly about you-know-what. They enjoyed it, they shared their enjoyment with others and they didn't seem to be ashamed! Wow!

Finally talking to Lash about it brought some freedom, but it was never enough for me to use spanking as foreplay. There was always something missing and that was the element of true submission. Playful spanking didn't fill that place in me. Erotic spanking wasn't enough. It wasn't until I read about real-life DD that I knew where I belonged in this world of TTWD. We all know that there are as many ways of doing DD or D/s or M/s as there are people. When we finally found a niche where I was comfortable and where Lash was comfortable, we decided to label that niche "marriage" and to define ourselves as "husband and wife" for pretty much the first time. We're still working on those definitions, but I'm liking the path of finding the "wife" in me.