Goodbye Superwoman!

Lash is on vacation this week and I'm so glad to have him home. I'm leaving on Wednesday to be with my mom for her surgery (a lumpectomy) and he's doing his best to help me get in touch with my emotions before I go. That means hard spankings every day. Now, I've read about some really, really severe spankings on various blogs. I may be a wimp but 60-70 hard spanks with Lash's hand will start me crying. I cry even more when we cuddle afterward and I feel so loved and protected. I'm hoping that feeling of having someone to take care of me will last when I travel and have to be the caregiver.

I've been a caretaker all my life. As an oldest child and only girl, it was my role in the family and it fits my personality, too. I was mature, responsible, well-behaved and my rebellion was never more than passive-aggressive bulls--t. This continued into my marriage. I've been working hard for a few years to learn to treat myself well, but it's an uphill battle. Admitting that I'm in any way "needy" is very difficult for me. Now that Lash knows about my "need" for spanking, he's more than happy to help out and I get all the side benefits: a happier husband, more intimacy in our marriage, stress relief when necessary, freedom from guilt when I mess up and protection from the person who treats me the worst (myself). A few more spankings before I leave will help me cope with the "pull" of family roles and the temptation to step back in as Superwoman. Wish me luck!