In searching for a book recommended on someone's profile, I ran across a book of fiction about DD. There were 3 short reviews that touched on the type of story and writing style and 1 long review that used the following phrases: diseased author, sickness, abusive physical correction (spanking), beating (again, spanking with the hand), freakishly disgusting portrait of a marriage. In the comment section, she used the words "bizarre" and "underside of society". On her profile page she describes herself as "open minded" and, btw, is in her early 20s.
She is, of course, entitled to her opinion, but it reinforced in my mind the reasons that Lash is so concerned about privacy and anonymity. There are probably many people in his line of work who would feel exactly as this reviewer does and could force him out of his job and his profession.
Since I've been reading blogs and writing this one, I've run across some of the nicest, open-minded, NORMAL people in the world. Whether we're into DD, D/s, BDSM, M/s or any other label doesn't matter. We can still be good neighbors, good lawyers, good plumbers, good teachers, etc. I've almost forgotten that there are people out there who view us as "freakishly disgusting".
Thanks to everyone in this little community who welcomed us with open minds and open arms. I'll remember this as another Life's Lesson: Be very, very careful what you share with people. Bye-bye from the Underside of Society!
13 comments:
Regardless of what a person enjoys in the bedroom, kinky or vanilla, I think that discretion is a sign of class. Yes, I talk about my sex life anonymously on my blog, but friends and family do not know nor need to know any details. Discretion is actually an extension of respect for one's partner, no matter what you do, and that's important to me.
If the reviewer is still in her early 20's, it's very possible she's been subjected to the outright brainwashing many college curriculums still unfortunately use when it comes to "women's studies". Many/most colleges are quite militant when it comes to anything regarding women's rights.
If this is true, then she's reacting to the book so violently because of the books she's read, classes she's had and profs she's listened to that reinforce the belief that *anything or anyone* that even hints at women not being recognized as being *better* than men (they start out saying/writing about equality but it's quickly very clear that only female attributes are lauded and male attributes are reviled) anyone who doesn't believe the way they do is "sick" and "wrong".
And since it's coming from the mouths of supposed "higher-education" instructors/writers, it's hard to argue with them.
She'll probably get over it eventually and find her common sense again. Most of us do, as the years between graduating college and entering real life march along. :)
Constance, I'm discreet in real life, but it's amazing how vulnerable we are online. There are so many ways to get personal information. We try to be very careful that Lash's identity can't be found out casually.
Amber, I really do think her age is a big factor in her attitude. She may have been in or seen an abusive situation, too. I just wonder why she reads this type of material in the first place.
Thanks for stopping by! Meow
I am not ashamed of who or what I am or the lifestyle I like; however, my private life is as it says, private. I do not want or need to disclose it to anyone. Anonymously, I enjoy likeminded peoples friendship, it is very important to me, however, in reality world, my likes and dislikes are mine and my husbands business ONLY and thats the way it stays, partly because of reactions you describe, but mostly because our intimate lives are special, personal and for us only.! Hugs, xxx
I agree, Daisy. The risk we take when we blog, post on forums or even surf certain websites is that we leave a trail that could lead the overzealous and close-minded to peel back the layers of our anonymity. I am certainly not ashamed of what we do, but in order to find like minded people we take chances with our privacy. Meow
Ah Heck,
I guess my girlfriends and I must be indiscreet. Well, no, not indiscreet, we don't do details but we know broad strokes - like any group of women.
We know we are basically heterosexual, conservative more or less and that I do something called DD. I do not and cannot imagine any circumstances under which I would discuss DD with my boss or in my workplace.
They don't know the details and I don't offer other than what they see on the blog. They seem to skip the sex stuff and are more concerned about my state of mind anyway.
I feel about this girl the same way I feel about crusaders on the other side of the fence. Extremism and virulent attacks have no place in conversation, period.
She may be educated -- who knows. I never had a class that discussed female and male relationships in negative terms - ever. I attended school in that liberal east coast bastion, NYC. But what she hasn't learned is to be tolerant and open-minded.
Too bad,
P
P. thanks for the comment! Too bad people can't take a class in tolerance. It sometimes takes a lot of life experience to learn it. Meow
I to was so happy to find this group of sane, normal people out here. I had felt strange all my life for my interest in spanking. Now I sometimes feel we might be the majority if everyone was to truly come clean. There are more and more descrete references to spanking (at least for fun) on TV these days.
I have shared my lifestyle with one close friend and my sister. Neither was shocked, a little amused, but not shocked. If for any reason you are found out laugh and roll with it. Even after I told these people and tried a little to explain discipline to them I realized they understood nothing about what I was trying to say. So pass it off as slap and tickle foreplay and no one will think a thing about it.
Hugs,
PK
PK, I could pass it off as fun with friends, but if someone made it an issue with my husband's job, he could be in a lot of trouble. People with an agenda can twist the facts. Meow
Thanks so much for the reminder... I really have trouble with this because I have often posted so much about our real life on my blog. But that's just a part of who I am and since I am basically non-verbal, I have a real "need" to share everything inside me in another way... writing.
That being said, we aren't ashamed or embarrassed either, about our choices in love and life, but for our son's sake, we do need to be careful! And I DO need to be reminded of what's at stake!
I also believe that in some ways, we are even more vulnerable online! People hide behind all sorts of anonymities and alter-egos out here, and we have a much harder time finding out the truth!
Thanks you very much for bringing this up now! I have close friends who I've met online (and have realized too late that many of those I believed to be true friends had their own lies to hide behind and their own false intentions) but I am MUCH more careful now about going the extra mile in real life with those I "meet" in cyberia!
Hugs, big furry ones, from one kitty to another!
Tiggr, thanks for the hugs! As I find myself getting more into this little world of cyberia, I have to constantly remind myself about what's appropriate to say to real life friends. I hate hiding part of myself from them. Each world has it's advantages and disadvantages, I guess. I'm glad to have both! Meow
Meow, this was a very interesting post and I really enjoyed reading the comments others left to see some more opinions on the matter.
Speaking for myself, I feel almost ashamed (in a way) that I am not brave enough to outwardly show just who and what I am to the world without care or fear of their judgement towards me.
Since finding out about this 'side' of me, I have begun to realize how hard it must be for those who are 'different' (compared to the so called "norm") and fight a battle everyday against society to just be accepted or in one of the biggest debates of today love who they choose to love freely with the same rights as others.
To those people, I admire them greatly and in some small ways (for now) I am trying to live my life the way I wish to live it providing it doesn't hurt others.
My husband and I don't really have too much of a problem being a DD couple, as we live in the South and people tend to be a little old fashioned here anyway and we don't have any children yet.
However, I can't imagine how we will get around to spankings etc when we finally have children and for any mothers out there who receive spankings - I for one would love to read a blog post on how you go about your usual DD lifestyles and punishments when it comes to privacy.
I am sorry this is a long comment, but I can't help but ramble on sometimes lol...
Great Post!
Mrs M
Post a Comment