Submissively Sassy

     One day Lash and I were joking and teasing and I admitted to being sassy but asserted that I was being "submissively" sassy.  The old me was disrespectfully sassy and passive-agressively sassy - saying hurtful things under the guise of fun.  The difference now is that I always keep respect for Lash as my Husband in the language and tone and meaning of my sass - and that's what makes it submissive!  He loves it!  It gives him an excuse for some playful swats, too.  And I love that!
    While we were out of town, I got 3 very nice spankings but a variety of factors kept us from having a two-fer (two spankings in one day).  
     Since we got back I've had two lovely spankings.  The one on Tuesday was very painful with a lot of hand spanking and using the tawse.  I was able to finally let go and cry just from the spanking which felt very liberating.  I've been working on feeling softer and more yielding when I get spanked rather than being tense and defensive.
     Today's spanking was very special.  Lash started by saying some very loving and supportive things while we cuddled and that was enough to start the tears.  I was able to cry out loud during the spanking (with hand and strap).  It felt like I was surrendering to this loving and powerful force.  It's hard to describe but it was beautiful.  I long for that feeling of surrender and I feel like I'm finally finding it.
     Tomorrow may be our last full day together for a couple of weeks since Lash will be working out of town over both holidays.  I can join him after work since it's only an hour away, but it's not the same as having the privacy of our own home.  Still, we're grateful for the paycheck after Lash being off work all summer for his surgeries.  It ends the year on an upbeat note.  We have so much to be thankful for in 2009 and look forward to a great year in 2010!