Firm Hand Starts New Chapter

MEOW-My Ever-lovin' Obedient Wife--intelligent, beautiful, sexy, feminine, obedient and submissive--what an awesome wife! And we now have a very clear understanding about her self-neglect/abuse issues. And I am right there with her, loving and supporting her 24/7/365-in spirit when we are physically separated. It is difficult for me to explain to Meow how this relationship affects me-difficult to explain the powerful masculine energy that simply flows. This a.m. my energy soared in spite of just ending a 13 hour night shift at work. I just got a 3 hour nap and I'm ready for another 13 hour shift tonight. I've explained that her obedient submissive behavior gives me energy for long talks and spankings/cuddles-it's never draining. It gives me a sense of being a true complete man with more confidence, purpose and satisfaction in my life. We are writing a new chapter in our relationship. We both enjoy reading blogs and other material to look at new ideas while we are evaluating what is, and isn't, working for us. We pick and choose what is right for us as we develop this wonderful life together. LASH

Getting a Firm Hand

Ouch! This morning Lash and I had another talk about taking care of myself this week. Another spanking followed, of course, and I really, really felt how serious he is about this - REALLY!

Lately he's been spanking me in a position that allows some of the spanks to fall on very tender areas. For the first time, I felt a little fear, a little dread, when I was getting into position. Spankings in our usual position were painful, but nothing I feared. Maybe that's why I had trouble sticking to my health plan. Go off the plan - get another spanking. Just what I've been asking for all these years! I don't think today's spanking hurt THAT much more than before, but the intensity combined with the position, combined with Lash's serious desire to change my behavior - well, they all added up to a memorable experience!

I feel entirely different as I start this week. I feel like I have someone on my side in this effort. I feel like Lash is right behind me, hugging me as I make decisions about health issues. I feel like my bottom is really, really sore - REALLY!

Needing a Firm Hand

This morning I got a spanking for problems with over-eating (and generally not taking care of myself) while I was out of town. It hurt, I cried, we cuddled and talked afterward and I felt better. Later I realized that I still wasn’t ready to let it go. Lash was napping, so I climbed in bed with him again and we talked some more.

I finally realized that it wasn’t enough to be spanked to get rid of the guilt and to say “OK, you can start over now“. Starting over usually meant several days of good intentions and then relapse into bad habits. I’m just not very self-motivated - I never have been. I work best if given boundaries and deadlines but I can procrastinate and rationalize ‘til the cows come home if it’s left up to me. Setting my own goals and boundaries just hasn’t worked.

On certain other issues Lash has been very, very strict about what is NOT allowed and knowing that his stand was firm really helped me when I was tempted to stray. I needed to know that the issue of my self-neglect/abuse was important to him in the same way that other issues were. I needed to hear him say that my behavior was not acceptable - that he would not tolerate it and that he would be not only disappointed, but angry, if it continued. I suppose my punishment might be more severe, but the main issue for me was his putting his foot down, taking a stand and sticking to it. The stronger his demand for obedience, the more I respect him and want to obey. I know it will help me with all those pesky personal health issues like diet, medication, exercise, meditation, weighing, etc.

Lash calls it ”starting a new chapter“ and I suppose we are. It’s a little like we’re writing our own DD manual as we go along. This chapter will go along for a while and then we’ll revise it or maybe delete it or maybe go on to a new chapter, leaving it ”as is“. I like making it up as we go along. It’s more personalized, more ”us“. And ”us“ is what it’s all about!

Bad Advice?

I'm back!

I got back home yesterday after my trip to the Midwest to see my mom. I stopped overnight in the city where my hubby works and got my bottom warmed nicely as a bedtime treat. I do love going to bed with a tingly bottom. Today I work on catching up with all the items that fell by the wayside while I was gone and tomorrow.....I get to spend with Lash again!! I'll probably have to pay for my dietary indiscretions while I was traveling, but it will be worth it to have a fresh start.

PS: Thanks to Bonnie for the mention on her blog! I do love to spend time there reading past Brunches and other archived posts!!

Just a QUICK post

I'm heading back home today. Mom is doing well and back to her usual activities where she lives (assisted living). I know she's not alone and has good medicaL care. I'm thankful for a long QUIET drive today and no QUESTIONS to answer from well meaning friends and relatives. I also give thanks for QUILTS, QUENCHED thirst and QUALITY time with family. Q is a QUIRKY letter!

I'm Absolutely Amazed!!

I had the most amazing conversation with our younger daughter last night. She lives in the same town as my mom and we finally got to go out to dinner together last night - just the two of us. She's nearly 30 and this is hard for her because she hasn't found a satisfying relationship and sees time flying by (at 30!!!). As we talked I very delicately hinted that her Dad and I had found new ways of relating and new joy in our relationship even though we're a lot older than her. Eventually, it all spilled out - how she wanted to be taken care of by a dominant man, how she wanted to be a submissive wife, how she thought she'd never find anyone who would understand. As we shared our feelings we both kept saying how amazing it was that we felt the same. She thought her parents would never understand and we thought our daughters would never understand. I certainly didn't go into details and didn't bring up the discipline part at all, but the deep-down feelings of wanting to surrender to a stronger partner were soooooo similar. I never cease to be astounded by what we can learn about the people we love if we only listen without judgement and let them know that we love them and support their choices.

I wonder if she'll ever stumble on this blog while searching the internet. If so, I can live with it. Now I'm off to be with my mom. We'll go to visit my dad's grave today and tomorrow I'll head back to my Lash! Life is absolutely amazing!!

Good news and a (small) rant

Thanks for all the anniversary congratulations and good wishes for my mom. Her surgery went well yesterday and the results were very good - it seems that the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. I'm sneaking away for a few minutes at the coffeeshop to answer email and check out blogs.

Spending time with my mom isn't too bad, but my brother can be irritating sometimes. He made a statement about stay-at-home parents that made me bristle. I stayed home ever since my kids were born because it worked out best for our family and fit best with my husband's work schedule for me to be available when he had time off. I guess I was fairly submissive in that way. My life pretty much revolved around his life and his work. I volunteered a lot and took care of the home and tried to get some sense of self-worth from service to the schools, church and community. I gained a lot of skills, but no money and very little respect during an era when feminism was helping put women into the workplace. I consider myself a feminist and I'm grateful for the choices I have because of the women's movement, but my choices have not fit in with the mainstream of feminist thought. I grew up in a time and place where most moms were housewives. I became an adult during the 60's when equality was the buzzword. I spent many years being confused by my lack of desire for a career, I thought I was betraying other women by my choices.

Finally, I’m able to recognize and accept my submissive nature and see it as a valid choice as a feminist, as a woman, mother, daughter and wife. I like being Meow, which BTW is Lash’s name for me: short for My Ever-lovin’ Obedient Wife.

37 and counting

Lash & I have been married 37 years today! We've had DD in our marriage for 4 months. I give thanks for both!

I'm on my way to see my mom and will check in here when I can get access to the internet. Thanks to everyone who has sent good wishes our way!

P is for Pregnant!

Now that our daughter is Pregnant, I'm grateful for these "P" words related to babies:

Pacifier
Pediatrics
Pampers
Peek-a-boo
Perambulator
Prenatal
Pink or blue?
Patty cake
Pooh bear
Poopy diaper
Potty Training

Why do I have a sudden urge to knit, Purl, knit, Purl, knit, Purl??

Purring, Meow